Shantae Holmes and her husband, Marquis, live with their blended family of four kids. Shantae is proud of her active role in the community and has started her own non-profit. Her husband has been such a staunch supporter of her initiatives. He works in the construction field and has always been a very healthy person. That is why it was such an anomaly when Marquis started experiencing abdominal pain in November of 2023.
The first leg of their journey was just trying to figure out what was wrong. Doctors first removed his gallbladder, but the pain did not subside. It took many visits to his primary physician, then to specialists, and lastly to imaging for doctors to finally find the cancer. Marquis’ official diagnosis came about a year after he started experiencing symptoms.
Marquis kept working as long as he could, but he had to stop once he started his chemotherapy regimen. Eventually, he had surgery to remove a tumor, then followed up with three more months of chemotherapy. Shantae also had to leave her job to become the full-time caregiver that Marquis needed. She was now the full-time caregiver for not only Marquis, but their large family as well.
“From a caregivers perspective, it was very hard to see him physically affected, especially someone who hadn’t been sick before. I had to take charge of all of the forms. All of our leave paperwork, applications for help, subsidies for utilities. All of the things I had to take over in addition to being worried about him and managing his appointments and medications.”
Shantae also noted the mental toll the whole process took on their family
“He struggled a lot with the fact that he wasn’t able to provide anymore and the fact that we were struggling financially. He felt guilty about that. That was hard.”
While out of work, both Marquis and Shantae were able to utilize Massachusetts PFML (paid family and medical leave). But their 20 weeks maxed out quickly, with Marquis still in treatment. Looking back, Shantae now realizes the lack of education and resources for families going through the worst time of their lives.
“Now I know that he could have applied for Social Security through the state, [but at the time] we didn’t know that. All we knew was unemployment disability through our employers. And his employer doesn’t offer long-term disability. When the short-term ran out, he applied for unemployment and got denied because he technically wasn’t able to work, they said. So he had no income for four months.”
Shantae was forced to return to work part-time (in addition to her caregiving responsibilities), but the financial gap remained. That is when their social worker told them about Joe Andruzzi Foundation, and the help they could potentially provide. JAF was able to help with a Financial Assistance grant and gift cards for groceries.
“It’s just so helpful because the part that folks might not realize is the after. You’re still digging yourself out financially. We pay over $3,000 in rent a month. And, there’s no subsidy for that. There was no help for that. And because we make decent money when we are working, we don’t qualify for much. To have someone that can help us and understand why we need the help, and that we’re not just being lazy, is just really remarkable.”
Thankfully, Marquis’s treatments have been successful, and he is starting to feel like himself again. He is back to working out and says he’s in the best shape of his life and, most importantly, pain-free.
The family took advantage of JAF’s UpBeat outing to Codzilla in Boston right after Marquis completed his treatments. And it put into perspective the community of people who go through something like this for Shantae.
“As we’re sitting waiting to check in, I see my daughter’s dance classmate walking up with her mom…[Turns out] the mom is a patient and a recipient of JAF’s support, just like us. And neither one of us knew. And our kids were dancing together for months in the same dance group. I thought that was unbelievable. Now we have something else in common to talk about. And now, I reach out to her to check on her. She does the same about my husband. The girls now have something in common too, and it’s something my daughter needed, really so much.”
And that ripple effect on the whole family is the biggest thing Shantae takes away from this experience.
“It’s just like when someone drops a pebble in the water and it spreads. The positive is that the information was spread because he’s younger…and so now all the people in our family are more aware of colon cancer and will be more aware about going to get their checkups and all of those things. But the negative too is that everybody was scared. It raised everyone’s anxiety. Everyone was in a fearful place and didn’t know if he was going to make it. My mother-in-law also incurred some debt trying to help us over this time. And I think her stress level might have been permanently affected because every time I called her, it was to give her an update about her son. And now, when I call her I still hear the anxiety in her voice when she answers the phone.”
The Holmes family is still dealing with the long-term ripple effects of cancer, such as the arduous process of getting finances back on track. Marquis is now physically stronger, and a lot of that is due to the incredible strength Shantae showed throughout his journey. The caregiver role is often overlooked, but it can be one of the most crucial parts of a cancer journey.